no, really. i'm not built for this kind of problem solving!!

ok, so a lot of 'drama' is going on and i really don't like it! friend one and friend two were getting along great for a long time until their personalities had a crash big time... one thinks I'm replacing them with the other. i can usually solve friendship issues like a dad solves his child's 'boo-boo'. slap a band aid on, give it a kiss, and set them right back up on their bike. unfortunately, something like this has never had the opportunity to trouble my days and give me a hard time.it really annoys me when two people can't sort things out between them. so who do they turn to? a middle man- in this case, me.it's like this: friend one is standing on one side of a bottomless pit and friend two is standing on the other side. but there is a bridge!! me. they want to use me as the middle man- not to necassarily 'make up'- because lord knows that won't happen- but sooner or later one friend is going to cut the ropes that tie the bridge to their side and it will swing over to the other person. but they wouldn't do that just yet. they can't stand each other so much that they just had to double their burdens on the 'bridge' and hope that it would hold and solve everything and guess what?? IT BREAKS!!!! the bridge is the one that falls!! not friend one or friend two.anyway, if you are following my reasoning, you can see that it's pretty hard on me. i've got two expectant faces looking at me to solve their problems. i can ace a math test, dress a wound, save a dog from being hit by a car BUT i cannot fix someone else's problems or follow their rules, expectations, or terms. look, i understand that you can have problems but don't try using a middle man. face your own burdens. talk to the other person. do something!

adaptation

funny how much science relates to us. i have lately been discovering a lot about the people around me, and i must say, it has been interesting. i have also learned some new stuff about myself.

• i change from person to person that i'm with- i am who i need to be for that person and so on.
• i undertake a lot more than i thought i did
• i don't consider myself as much as i do others
• i love people. if i was sent to africa to live in a cave for the rest of my life, i would go nuts. i have to be around people, talking to them, or whatever constantly.
• my life and the people in it are pretty amazing

drama- fyi:not my thing

well lots of stuff has been happening lately. LOTS of stuff. i am not going to go into it on here (for now)

anyway, today is my brother landon's birthday- he turned 16! unfortunately, things have been crazy busy in my life and i never quite found the time to get his present....i'm a last minute kind of person if you didn't already know... so he'll be getting his gift from me (whatever that is- i haven't decided) this weekend. happy 16th bro!

looks like i'll be getting another game hangover....

well, best game yet! we played better as a team, but we lost. the thing that makes me mad is that it was SO close. 13-15. all we really need is to shoot more! anyway, i am just comepletely sick of losing. i was really actually pissed off. at first i was finding the weak links in our team and picking on them and everything they did wrong....of course not to their faces!! to my mom, who told me something like 'you should not blame them and instead look at the things that YOU can do to get better.' but i heard "you're just as good as them when you decide to pick them apart"
and then i lost it. i was like 'i'm as bad of a loser as all of them?!?!?' but eventually mom calmed me down, relatively. my mom played bball in middle & hs and her uncle was the coach of georgia & florida. so, she knows a lot about the game.
she said that the thing that killed us was when my coach took out the 2 best players (me & colbie) everything we had built up was not held by our teammates and the other team ripped it down, scoring a lot. that was when we lost. we lost the lead, the game, and i seriously lost hope.
my coach is all about team spirit & optimism but me, i'm competetive. I MUST WIN. and when i don't, i get pissed big time.
this is where the game hangover comes in. when i lose, especially with the close game this time, the rest of the night and the next day until noon i am in this 'down' mood. just kind of like 'awww man, beaver dam it' i can't believe we lost. ugh.

what to do with the rest of my life?

ok, so this year i'm going to be starting high school. wow. the thing i started spazzing out about this summer was this fact: i only have four years to plan out the rest of my life and they're going to go by very, very quickly also, i have NO IDEA about what i want to do. and where would that leave me? confused, lost, and frustrated. over the past years, this has been my career choice rollercoaster: vet, contortionist, teacher, vet, teacher, forensic pathologist, undecided, teacher, stage (theatre) director, doctor, marine biologist, marine rescue, teacher, lawyer, film producer/director/and stuff like that. as you can see, it's been a long road...
(and this stuff isn't everything i have considered)
i really don't want to have to map out my future at the moment! but, my time for cruising is over. i have to start centering my classes around my future, so i'm going to focus on liberal arts. i really enjoy theatre- the directing/stage manager part- so, of course i'll be joining drama club. i will be taking some honors classes (biology, english) and i might continue doing band... but i'm not sure. if i do anything, i will probably join jazz band, but i'm not sure if they accept clarinets. i will probably end up on alto sax. anyway, i'm going to also take some technology/media classes also, i will probably take some more concentrated classes in the film area. as for my foreign language (UGH) i might take spanish (i've always wanted to know what they are really saying at those mexican restaurants and construction sites....no, i'm not racist)
currently, i am looking at NYU as a college. they have one of the best film/media programs in the country. the others include UCLA and USC-but they are both in Cali, which is too far from home for me...
(of course if they gave me a nice, fat scholarship, i can always change my mind...)
so the secret is out!! for now, i'm planning on focusing on film. sure, i'd make a good lawyer or doctor, (heck, i can do anything really...) but i can't stand doing such similar stuff every day. plus, i really do not want to mess with medical school. :P

doyle arwood did NOTHING wrong- yeah, i'm putting it out there again

doyle arwood did NOTHING wrong
ok so my bus driver- doyle arwood- was driving his normal route on friday, feb. 20th. this 3rd grader apparently missed his bus and his mom knew that bus #207 was in the next neighborhood over and he still had time to catch it. so the kid's mom drove her car behind the bus and when it stopped, she let her kid out and told him to run & catch 207 in time.well, you must know, doyle knows where everyone lives who rides the bus. if a kid misses the bus, he drives extra slowly in front of their house to be sure they had time to run out the door at the last second in case they were late. he knows these things.so this STUPID kid who wasn't even on doyle's route ran up to the bus after the other student had gotten on. well, some part of his arm got stuck in the closed door and doyle drove on (of course, he had no idea) 300 ft. he didn't see the kid until the next stop.i mean, come on. the kid could have banged on the door or something. why didn't any of the other kids riding the bus see the kid? he must have been pretty hated, because someone had to have seen that.you also have to understand that doyle is probably the best, most dedicated bus driver the county has ever known. he even had his own bus line (which he just recently sold to someone). you can still see 'doyle arwood bus lines' on the sides of some buses (which are also the nicest ones). he is 79 years old and every day for a long time, he gets up and drives that bus. why? it's not because he has to. he loves it and the kids. doyle arwood would not hurt anyone ever.the thing that makes me angry the most is who the people are pointing fingers at. they point them at doyle!!! what the heck?? wake up people, if it's anyone's fault, it's the kid's and his mom's!!!! i think that they deserve the blame because they are true idiots. THE KID DID NOT EVEN RIDE THE BUS!!also, i wanted to point out that it is illegal to follow a school bus. there were a lot of parents today who are following the bus with their fancy camera phones trying to catch something bad. IT WAS AN ACCIDEENT PEOPLE!!!doyle was 'removed from the list of eligible drivers list'. this infuriates me. do you people really think that he goes around wanting people to get their arm stuck in his door? no. do you also really think that he would let this happen again?? NO. Open your eyes people.so please, to the mother trying to get grief and an angry swarm of parents on your side, STOP IT. there are some people who know who's fault it really is, you inconsiderate woman. and doyle arwood is not the one who should be blamed.

thank you for my everything

before this blog takes off and i post maybe about a paragraph each day, i want to take the time to thank everyone in my life who has forever changed me. the people i have mentioned are: mom, landon, sam, kelsey, rosina, boone, blair, ben, bryce, jeff, gloria, jordan, & olivia mcgregor as well as olivia monroe. find yourself to see how thankful i am!

mom- you are truly one of the most amazing people in my life. you are so humble, kind, loving, caring, helpful, and everything else i love seeing in people. the thing that i love best about you would have to be how amazingly loyal you are to god. you are one of the strongest christians i know and that is what i need most in my life.

sam- you have to be the coolest younger brother on the planet. we get along 90% of the time and you actually listen to what i tell you (well, most of the time). i just want you to know that i only want what's best for you- that's why i try to guide you away from what is wrong and toward what is right. i am so lucky to have such a great brother and i'll always be here for you under any circumstances. also, i totally forgive you for shooting me in the arm. =)

landon- you are a really cool brother as well, but in your own ways. when we were younger, i always was skipping around in your footsteps and that was because i needed your guidance. even though you didn't always give it to me (now and then) i thank you for the times that you do/did. i love the moments when we have great times together and even though i'm 2 years younger than you, i'm actually pretty fun to be with....if you would give me more chances. i would like to stop arguing with you so often, but you also need to start working on being a little more tolerable. i will also always be here for you-whenever you need me.

kelsey- you are unlike any friend i have ever had. all of my life, i have had friendships that drift in each year and then awaythe next. thankfully, you are different. you and i have more in common than almost anyone else i have called my friend.thank you for being loyal, kind, helpful, accepting, and once again, pretty much everything else i love seeing in a friend. i truly believe that we will be best friends for a long time. even though we enjoy annoying the other on a daily basis, our opinions clash, you get mad at me, i give you the silent treatment (lol that was a funny day), and everything else we do to each other, you're awesome and (words cannot express but i'll use these) i'm one of the luckiest people in the world to have a friend like you. thanks.

rosina- wow, rosina. you have taught me so much about the stage, life, people, and being a leader. it is amazing how much theatre teaches you about life and its components. i want to thank you for being that person in my life whotaught me these things. also, you have quite possibly opened the door to my future. thanks.

boone- haha, i never thought you'd end up in this! i don't know what it is about you that i love being around so much. i really enjoy hanging out with you-especially in the summer. thank you for being like a third brother- and maybe a smidgen more- to me since we were in diapers. i think it's really cool that i can say i have known someone for 14 years who is also the same age, so i can relate to you. thanks boonie.

speaking of the bowlings...

blair- well, 12 or 13 years seems like a long time to be stuck in the middle between all these guys! it's been fun being able to have a really cool girl like you on my side during countless summers. thank goodness you were a girl, or else i'd be all alone! haha,but really, it's been fun!

ben- well ben, i don't really know what to say to you buddy. you have really matured since you were born, and it's been cool to watch you turn into the boy you are today. i think that you are a really unique person and even though you 're in 4th grade, i love hangin out with ya. stay cool!

bryce- ok, you're what? 4? in my book, that's no different. you're a cool little kid and it has been fun to also watch you grow up. i really cannot believe you're that old already! it seems like yesterday you were being bottle fed by johanna while we went out on the lake, and look at you now! you're already out there on the tube!

jeff- mr. b, how will i ever forget you? never. thank you so much for all of the great summers. without you, what would we be doing during those hot days? thanks so much for all you've given, shared with, and taught us!

now out of the bowlings...

gloria- first of all, without you, i would not be blogging. thank you for that!! you are an amazing person and i'm really glad that we will be going to the same high school!! also, you're really fun to be with and i really enjoy your presence in my life! we might have clashing opinions sometimes, you try running up behind me and scare me (which, if you've noticed, NEVER WORKS), lol, i have always though you were a really cool person and i enjoy being around you every day!
CHECK OUT HER AMAZING BLOG!! chopstickjungle.blogspot.com

jordan- i've always though that you were really cool person. from the time we met ( in like what, 4th grade maybe?) anyway, from passing basketballs back then to seeing you every day at school, you've always been a fun person to be with. =) thank you for making me smile every day. also, thank you for giving me someone to laugh at every day!! (jk even though i do) even though i might make fun of you using the power of sarcasm sometimes....well a lot lol...you're a good sport about it, mostly becasue you laugh right along with me. but that's another great thing about you- your easily forgiving nature.

olivia mc- i am so thankful that facebook reconnected us after all these years. i never knew that my 2nd cousin was so cool! also, it has been great to be able to turn to you when i'm in need and just talk. you're like that amazing older sister i never received! (but definitely wayyy better) i really hope that we will be able to see each other this summer. (we really need to work on that!)

olivia mo- wow, first, i have to say thanks. you are so amazing! i am so thankful to have known you for how long- 5 yrs? yeah. anyway, i have always known that i can find you in one place- church. that's what i have always needed. as i truly learned this year, friendships are built on Christ.and you know what? that's the way it has always been with us. this year, i finally saw the light, more clearly than ever before. and you know who led me there? you. you have no idea how just being at church whenever i went did for me. and then in january, you set the ultimate example that has changed my life forever. i thank god every day for you olivia, and i also would like to thank you, so much.

i could go on and on, but tonight, i'm calling it quits.

me, a blog hog?? yeah!

ok, so this is my second blog!! WOOOOO!! anyway, i like my 1st one so much that i think having 2 will be even better. this one will be just a little different though... it is more of a perspective/ reflective thing so be prepared to think!